Minimal, Meaningful Gifts

Posted February 17th, 2010 by Chris Gurney

Here’s the thing: I like giving and receiving gifts as much as everybody else.

Gifts mean something. Gifts mean that somebody is thinking of you. Gifts mean that a person went out of their way to get that thing that they thought you would appreciate. Gifts make you feel good!

But, here’s the problem:

• Commercial interests dominate the times of the year when everybody’s expected to be buying things. This leads to undue pressure, and impulse buying decisions.
• Despite their best intentions, your gift giver usually ends up buying a thing that you just don’t need, because they truly don’t know what thing it is that you want.
• But, they don’t know what you want because you don’t know what you want. You make up things that you think you want, so you have some ideas of things to give to these people.
• And then you finally give or receive the thing, it doesn’t meet expectations, and is eventually forgotten about.
• Now this physical thing is hard to get rid of, because it has an emotional, or personal attachment. It becomes an object that just takes up room.

Awk-ward.

Personally, I want to give memorable, meaningful, and/or useful things that don’t take up room in people’s lives.

So, I did some thinking, asking, and searching. What might such things look like?

Here’s what I came up with:

Give them something they really need.

If you really want to give them a physical object, ask them what they truly need. Don’t make assumptions about what they want, because there’s always a chance you will be wrong. Remember that a want is different from a need.

What about the surprise? Do this far enough in advance so that it’s still a surprise, but not so far in advance that they may have acquired said item in the meantime.

If it’s somebody you’re around a lot, take notes, so when it comes time to buy a gift, you’re armed with ideas.

Yes, this all sounds like common sense, but it’s something a lot of people just don’t do.

Give them an experience.

Instead of a physical thing, give them an experience they will remember. Here are some ideas:

• Cook for them, or cook with them (buy and bring the ingredients with you).
• Take them out to try something new (a concert, rock climbing).
• Give them a gift certificate that allows them to try out an experience on their own time.

Make a donation in their name.

Donate to a local charity, or to a cause that has some meaning to them.

• OxfamGifts.com allows you to provide a donation in the form of a physical item.
• Kiva lets you make a micro-loan to a business anywhere in the world.

Teach them something.

Do you know how to do something that perhaps they would like to learn? Perhaps you can teach them:

• How to cook a dish.
• How to play a musical instrument.
• How to set up a blog (buy them a domain name).

Receiving Gifts

What can you do differently, if you’re the one receiving gifts?

Say no to gifts.

Tell people you just don’t need gifts. I know this can be hard to swallow in our gift-giving oriented culture, but you will end up saving them time, money, and concern about getting you the right thing.

Give them an excuse not to buy you a gift.

Setup your own party — or have somebody else do it for you as their gift to you — and invite everybody to come. Tell them they don’t need to bring anything. (Their company is enough!)

What suggestions do you have for giving meaningful gifts, or experiences, to somebody? How do you say no?

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